Yesterday, I came across a remarkably sad video that documents the times in which we live. Produced by Buzzfeed, the video puts viewers onto the new frontier of gender non-conforming parenting.
You can watch the video below, but the short summary is that the lesbian couple interviewed is attempting to parent in such a way as to nullify or erase any masculine or feminine qualities in both their parenting and in their son’s interactions with the world. This isn’t gender non-conformity; rather, what these parents are after is genderlessness altogether.
The mother in the story wants to “queer” her relationship with her son by making him wear tutus and the son doesn’t want to wear them.
The other mother in the story does not want to be called “mom,” but “Baba,” which is a term for parenthood in the transgender community that is neither strictly male or female.
There are about 87 different observations to make about this video, but I want to draw your attention to just two.
First, the attempt by the parents in this video to actively suppress any innate expressions of masculinity or boyishness that their son displays is a living portrait of what Paul depicts in Romans 1. The Apostle Paul says that sinful humans “suppress the truth” and that “they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking” (Romans 1:18, 21). These parents are suppressing what would otherwise be the normal pattern of living for this young boy. The story of the Christian gospel, however, allows individuals to live freely in line with who God made them to be. There is no hiding. There is no deflecting. That does not mean there aren’t physical manifestations on the body as a result of living in a fallen world, but it does mean that Christians have an answer to provide to the questions: What does it mean to be a parent? And what does it mean to have a son?
These parents treat their son’s existence as a boy as a problem to be overcome rather than embraced.
They treat his natural instincts as something pliable, thus erasing any concept of objective maleness or femaleness.
They believe children can be re-wired by ideological scripts that align with Western, progressive moorings.
Notice in the video that when the child makes masculine overtures or draws conclusions based on gender, the parents want to correct him.
To believe falsehood requires active suppression of the truth, which is what we see in this video. Truth emerges in the form of this boy acting, well…like a boy, and the parents respond by denying him his boyhood, suppressing his natural instincts, and correcting him by foisting upon him a false narrative based on modern progressive experiments.
This is manipulative and abusive. But in the world that we now live, we call it brave, compassionate, and assign categories like social justice to it in order to command obedience. This is nothing less than tragic and we should weep in pity for a generation of children who will be taught these errors. This puts Christians on the wrong side of where the culture is going on what it applauds for parenting. We must be ready to give an account for why we parent the way we do.
I write this not to sit in self-righteous judgment on this couple (the Bible says that all humans are constrained by the same sinful condition), but to demonstrate the foolishness that follows from breathing in the air of the gender revolution happening in our midst. It simply does not comport with reality and human nature for parents to reject their callings as moms and dads and in the process, inflict the same rejection of nature on boys and girls.
But second, notice that despite their “gender non-conformity” both of these women (and let’s call them what they are—women) both confess aspirations for motherhood. That is an astonishing confession that runs contrary to their professed ideology. Why would both of them aspire to motherhood if femaleness is just a social construct? That half the members of humanity have an instinct for motherhood and the other half not, would that not suggest that the difference of our bodily construction tells the truth of who we really are? What internal drive is there for motherhood if all humans have no innate script? Christians answers this by telling the truth that being a woman, or possessing qualities, characteristics, and desires that come with being a woman, aren’t simply constructs. No, these are knit and embedded in each of us as individuals made in the image of God. That’s where dignity is found. That’s where an answer to the never-ceasing search for significance is found. In God and His Word. It is sad that these individuals refuse to acknowledge the grounds of their motherly aspirations in the goodness of a God who makes women capable of bearing children. These individuals are living irrationally, and choose to celebrate their irrationality by refusing to acknowledge the true nature of their womanliness.
This is not novel. This is not polite. These parents are lying to their child because what is ultimately at stake is the issue of telling the truth about our anthropology, and not bearing false witness. What these parents are doing to this poor child in the interest of effete, experimental and ultimately destructive progressive ideology is encouraging confusion and sewing societal harm. In the interest of searching after our true gender identities, we end up unable to tell ourselves who we truly are with any fixed certainty.
We might be tempted to roll our eyes at this. Don’t. While episodes like the one above may not be many in number, that does not mean that parenting models like this are on the margins. Stories like this represent a new wave of parenting coming soon to a neighborhood near you.
Christians can scoff or we can get to the work of modeling healthy, gender-appropriate ways of parenting that recognizes that mothering and fathering are differentiated institutions with unique callings grounded in the goodness of God who assigned these callings from our biological design, not simply cultural mood.